“Some fears are driven by ignorance, some by experience, and others are just innate. When I discover a fear in myself, I usually try to bull my way through and attempt to conquer it. I’m not saying that fear is bad, or a sign of weakness. I would just like to think that knowledge, caution, and humility can destroy those that keep us bound and unable to have true life experience.” —Joshua Dowell
I was an intern for the UN back in the mid ’00s. My objective was to help locate nonprofit organizations in southern Africa that worked on HIV/AIDS prevention and care. It was something I just fell into and the plunge was life changing.
I followed internship protocol and located several organizations. I had a chance to email contacts and correspond with them about their development work. The acts of kindness I discovered often left me speechless and teary-eyed. Many of the organizations were working with a staff of one, or under a dozen, but were assisting hundreds and even thousands. Guilt always swelled up in me when people would respond with stories of their day-to-day hospital and prevention care, and HIV/AIDS education outreach.
At that time, my day-to-day was running around New York City with big sunglasses on, partying and going to class. The correspondences left me with that loud screaming urge to do something. So, I quickly joined a local nonprofit and started working and spreading the word about prevention.
I also did my graduate thesis paper on the contrast of HIV/AIDS media campaigns in the U.S. and in South Africa targeted at black American women. Again, the research left an impression on me. I saw the similarities. I read the numbers. I analyzed how the media was being created and who was creating it. I saw the gaps. I did campaigns for organizations. I loved it. I was a world servant and was ecstatic.
And, then one day, it all kind of tapered off. I got a corporate cubicle media job. I got wrapped up in me and away from helping others. Until recently, when my brother Joshua Dowell decided to go on a walk to help raise $100,000 for the Makindu Children’s Program in eastern Kenya. The Center provides nutritional, medical, and emotional support, access to basic education, and opportunities for vocational training for over four hundred destitute AIDS orphans and other vulnerable children.
Every recent conversation I have had with Joshua has been Oprah-like. He is so inspiring and his tone has that beautiful ring and silver lining of happiness engulfed in it. It’s peaceful and I can remember feeling that way. In a few weeks, he and a dozen other colleagues and camels are about to embark on a 160–180-mile walk in the Great Rift Valley following the Kerio River. This is not a pleasure trip. They plan to complete it in ten days and will walk probably an average of eighteen miles a day. It’s officially called the fifth biannual Proper Walk.
His dedication and fearlessness not only will help children but it has propelled me. He has reminded me of the joy followed behind servanthood. I don’t necessarily have to walk eighteen miles in the Great Rift Valley but I can surely help someone in my community. I can become a big sister. I can give the best parts of me to someone who needs it and will appreciate it.
In retrospect, I wonder how many people I would have touched if I had continued on my save the world path. I guess we all take detours, but mine stops here. I miss that warm joyful feeling of helping another human being because in essence I am really saving myself.
For more information about the Makindu walk visit makindu.org.
