While some researchers are finding cures for diseases or discovering the fountain of youth, it appears that other lab coat-wearing geeks are just hanging with scantily clad girls and discovering how to make women have better taste in men. (On second thought, that does sound like worthy exploration.) Here are some of the latest scientific discoveries—quick, read ‘em before new contradictory research surfaces!
Men Like Cars More than Burgers and Girls
Remember that Paris Hilton commercial in which she’s in a bikini, covered in soap, and slipping n’ sliding all over a Bentley, while simultaneously chowing down on a Carl’s Jr. burger? If you ever caught your boyfriend drooling over that commercial, good news! Science confirms that he was salivating over the car. Now suck it up and go apologize for accusing him of lusting after the nearly-naked babe or the hunk of man food.
Another Reason Relationships Are Hard
Turns out Notorious B.I.G. was spot on when he so eloquently summed up financial angst in his hit “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems.” A study confirms that materialists have unhappier marriages than couples who don’t care as much about possessions.
Women on The Pill May Have Better Taste in Men
If you’re tired of always going for that hot, unavailable guy, you might want to consider going on birth control pills. According to a recent study, women on the pill tend to choose men that are less attractive and worse in bed, but considered better long-term relationship material.
It’s okay if you drink like a sailor, skip fruits and veggies, and think walking to McDonald’s is adequate exercise because your trusty packet of daily vitamins has got your back! Right? RIGHT?! Sorry to burst your malnourished bubble, but your vitamins are killing you too. What’s next? Broccoli? Exercise? Sex?
