First, this one IS NOT written by me!!! I was contacted today and was given permission to use this poem. It describes the horror of the abuse perfectly! It is written beautifully! And it will leave you disgusted that a child had to go through something like this.
Another thing I want to say is this. A lot of child abuse victims don’t talk about the pain of the attack itself. It’s because the mind is a wonderful thing. After years of living with it we don’t remember the physical pain well enough to describe it. In my case, after thirty years all I have that remains is the emotional scar. All my physical wounds have healed.
And I was lucky. My mind ALLOWED me to escape. I don’t remember the attacks themselves. I can remember before and after, but not during. It’s just a white, hot haze I see. I can remember how badly the bruises hurt. I can remember being sore in certain places on my body. But I don’t remember how they got that way.
Something else you need to understand. Child abuse is different than most think. A friend was asking me about the pain today. He thought it would go away because the child would become used to it. It doesn’t! And I don’t mean to get graphic, but you NEED to understand.
A child’s body isn’t built like a woman’s. A child doesn’t know how to (for lack of a better term) get wet. A child molester isn’t going to think about Vaseline either because it’s part of the pleasure. How tight it is. How good it feels when it comes to friction. He’s/She’s not thinking about anyone but themselves and how to get their rocks off.
After a LOT of therapy, some survivor’s will remember the physical pain. But you still won’t find many who’ll talk about it candidly.
Having said all that let me show you this AMAZING poem done by an EXTRAORDINARY friend of mine who is SO unbelievable BRAVE enough to share her story with us.
Nighttime Demon
She feigned sleep,
but it did no good
He sat on the edge of her bed
His hands slipped under the bed covers
Prying her legs apart
He pulled the leg of her panties aside
And began to explore
Being careful not to penetrate too deeply
~~~
She heard him unzipping his pants
She laid still, feigning sleep
He picked up her hand and placed it around his swollen member
Guiding her hand in a back and forth motion
Slowly at first
His breathing became deep and rapid
As he moved her hand rapidly now
~~~
He pulled back the bed covers
Whispering words she didn’t understand
His breath hot in her face
His hands slowly guided her panties down to her ankles
He picked her up and sat her on his lap
He moved his hips up and down
Allowing her innocence to rub his hardness
~~~
She felt a sudden burst of wetness
Did she pee in his lap … would he spank her?
At the same time she felt his body jerk
He made strange moaning sounds
He carried her into the bathroom
Gently washed and dried her
He pulled her panties on, tucked her back into bed and quietly left her room.
