Navel-Gazing: Fashion Flops from the SAG Awards

Amy: Remember when pleather leggings were a thing? Angie is bringing them back. Also, I think you can get something similar to this dress at Forever 21.

Renae: Or Wet Seal, because she sort of looks like a wet seal. But I guess this is appropriate for an event called the “SAG” Awards.

Amy: Ellie went as Ariel from The Little Mermaid when she emerges from the waves.

Renae: She wants to be where the people are; she wants to see, wants to see ’em dancin’.

Amy: Ankle strap number one. There is way too much going on here.

Renae: I think she was counting on that chest bow being charming and making us feel like we were getting a present. I will accept the present, but I secretly want to return it.

Amy: I love it when actors come dressed in character. Dianna can wear this dress again when it’s prom time for the Gleeks.

Renae: I have nothing to say about this dress.

Amy: I can’t help but feel we’ve seen this before, but Emma was one of few who opted against a slinky column dress. We thank her for her retro look by McQueen, and in this case, the ankle straps work!

Renae: My pulse! I feel my pulse! I’m alive!

Renae: The strangeness of this dress impresses me.

Amy: This dress says, “My bedazzled bosom is the real star of the evening.”

Renae: Which sounds exactly like something Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock would say. Ipso facto, her dress is Jenna Maroney.

Amy: We wish she’d wear something other than a matronly navy dress every once in a while.

Renae: Curtains. She’s wearing curtains. But she still looks pretty.

Amy: As we noted last week, designers are clamoring to dress Jessica this award season. You would think with all those options, we would have gotten something less safe and boring from her. Pretty color, though!

Renae: I hope those designers hurry up and help Ms. Chastain. She seems to be floundering on red carpets lately, like a turquoise … flounder. But now we’re talking about The Little Mermaid again. I guess that’s the risk redheads face if they go near turquoise.

Amy: This dress makes her look like an inverted triangle.

Renae: Yup.

Amy: Fashion don’t: chokers, especially with a high neckline. I love Kristen’s new dark ’do, though!

Renae: All I see is choker.

Renae: I like the lace at the top, but that’s where my liking ends.

Amy: There were lots of sheer shoulders and arms last night. Do you think celebrities are self-conscious about arm-flap, too? Stars—they’re just like us!

Renae: What possible arm-flappage could this lace cover? A shoulder flap?

Renae: Lea Michele is going for the sexy-mummy look here. Sexy mummies don’t smile.

Amy: I wonder what type of underwear she is wearing. You know you’re doing something wrong, when that’s the only reaction you can elicit.

Renae: At first I thought this was just a dress, but now I suspect it’s more than that. The jutting neckline makes me think it might be some sort of elaborate water-catching apparatus. Is she an environmentalist?

Amy: She most certainly is. She’s saving the world one bright, body-hugging dress at a time.

Renae: I wonder how much water she’s conserved with her dresses.

Renae: What happened to my Tilda? She was so magnificent at the Golden Globes. I guess she figured she’d give the other actresses a chance to shine on the red carpet with this understated smock, but nobody really rose to the occasion. Still, I love the hair.

Amy: Way to keep hope alive even when your girl-crush disappoints. That is true devotion.

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