I Wonder What You’re Doing

I wonder what you’re doing, my oldest child of mine.
Are you watching over me from the heavens above?

Why is it that I miss you so?
When I know your all around?
Is it the physical touch I miss?
Your sweet, kind voice?
Your loving hugs and kisses or
the wondering text messages,
“Are you on your way home, Mom?”

I believe it’s all the above my dear
That is why I miss you so.
I can never replace you and all you’ve
taught me, so I must try to move 
forward even though I don’t want to.
I would prefer to go backward to 
when you were here with me. 

We worked so hard to get you to the 
the time when you would leave.
Leave to begin your independence,
not leave Dad and me.
To heaven above you have gone to
continue your good work. To me
you were an Angel here on earth.
Why did you have to leave?
Isn’t there more for you to do?
But from above us all, you can 
reach more of those in need. I 
guess we are so lucky to have
you watching over us indeed.

So I guess I need to just accept the 
fact that I will not see you anymore.
I will just feel you all around me and
watch for all yours signs.
The tears will still be coming at times.
When memories are stirred or when I 
see things you could of had or done.
They will not last as long as they did
when you first had to leave.

I will be able to smile at times,
when I think of you. Especially 
when certain life events happen
and I say, “What would Nicole do?”
I will love you always and forever 
and always miss you too. But, I can
also be happy knowing you are 
watching over me too.

 

3 readers liked this story.
From Around the Web:
I recently lost my 22 year old son, he was the young man with a heart of gold. this story touched me deep and to realize their are many more people who grieve in this way reminds me I'm not alone. Thank you.
11.10.2010
carmen morales
You touched my heart! It's only been 8 months since I lost my son to cancer. After a 14 year battle. I miss him so much.... He left me his son. What more could a mother want.. The pain never gets any better. The hurt, loneness and the empty spot will always be there. Thanks for sharing. You speak the truth. God Bless All
10.29.2010
teresa WINES
This was so beautiful. I know just how you feel. I lost my son 2 years ago from a medical mistake. I know just the pain your heart has. I know how you have this void in your heart. The only thing keeps me going is that I know one day I will be with him again, in Heaven. I know our loves ones are watching over us. God Bless
10.17.2010
Dawn
This touched me so personally as I lost my daughter over 2yrs ago she was only 15 yrs old & she died from a car accident. What you said is so true as I was angry at first too & I still get angry some days. I can relate to the missing her hugs & kisses & her physically being here with us. It hurts so very deep. I also miss my daughter's text messages & everything about her. I especially miss her beautiful smile & her laugh. The only thing that keeps me going each day is to know I will see her again when it's my time to leave this earth. I pray that God's healing hand of peace is upon you & every person going through grief. God Bless & thank you for sharing this with us you are a talented writer.
That was really beautiful the way it reached way down into your heart and soul. You must have a void in your heart and a longing for your sweet daughter. May each day get easier as she watches over you.
It feels good to write.

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