Should I take this job or follow my dreams? Is he really “THE ONE”? I can’t name how many times I have found myself at a crossroads. There is nothing like having the stress of knowing, that the decision I make will impact my life forever. Everyone has varying degrees of stress associated with having to make a decision. However, the symptoms are usually the same. I normally have a feeling of anxiousness, heaviness, and the inability to focus on multiple things. Instead, I find myself meticulously going over the details, trying to find something that will sway me in the direction of a final determination. Not just any determination, but the right resolution. Now that I think about it, making the right decision is at the core of my anxiety. Ugh!!! I’m getting overwhelmed just thinking about the whole process. Depending on the dilemma, the weight of the decision can be somewhat paralyzing. I have to be careful. Even a non-response comes with its own set of consequences.
So. How am I going to handle this? I’m glad you asked.
1. Take a Deep Breath.
I start by addressing the physical symptoms. Studies have shown that taking a deep breath sends a signal to the body that says . . . RELAX! The anxious response that includes: increased heart rate, fast breathing, and high blood pressure, all decrease as you breathe deeply. I can almost immediately feel the positive effects of stopping to take five deep breaths. This alone starts to loosen the grip of fear that had begun to take its toll on my body.
2. Refocus. (Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill)
Now that my body is behaving, I take time to put my thoughts into perspective. Often times I get entangled in the sticky web of my mind. Single thoughts are threaded together with emotions, and before I know it, my mind is racing between logic and hype. When I stop to remove the background noise, my thoughts become more simplistic and clear. I am able to focus on what is and not some hypothetical of what might be.
3. Respect the Gut.
After all the facts are in and everything is considered, Go With Your Gut! A wise woman, (my mom) taught me that regardless of what the outcome is, I can get a good night’s rest, knowing that my answer rings true to who I am. And no matter what, I don’t have to apologize for that.
Where would we be if everyone was consumed with paralyzing fear when faced with a decision? Our forefathers wouldn’t have broken away from England to seek religious freedom, and this country as we know it—would not exist. Rosa Parks would have continued to stand (ignoring the empty seats ahead of her), withholding from the civil rights movement a catalyst that birthed equality for all Americans. And instead of making the gutsy decision to strategically move forward with an attack, President Obama could have waited for intel to confirm the identity of who we now know was Osama Bin Laden (The world’s most wanted man), offering him yet another chance to get away. I’m glad they didn’t base their decisions on a need to be popular, but instead based them on what they believed to be right.
So here’s my challenge to you. The next time you’re caught between a rock and a hard place, remember to consider my suggestions: take a deep breath, refocus and respect your gut. You may even find a need to tweak this method by including prayer/meditation or seeking the counsel of those you trust. Remember decision-making is like a muscle, the more you exercise it, the stronger you’ll get.
SJP
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