We all are thinking at every minute of the day. Whether you realize it or not, you are thinking, observing and commenting on something you see, judging, comparing, categorizing. It’s all called mind chatter and it’s happening every minute you are awake. The average human thinks 60,000 thoughts a day! So it’s not so easy to always be thinking positively, but you definitely what to think more positive thoughts then negative because that is the tipping point to changing your like. The key is to be able to catch yourself when your mind has gotten away with you and is having a field day at your expense. You may not have had any action steps to take to be able to turn your thoughts around or get you out of a negative thinking rut. But that’s where I come in with a system you can use. It’s not an instant miracle cure, you will have to work at this, but, when done over and over again, it will turn into a habit, and eventually you will just naturally do it. That’s the great thing about the mind, when you do something repeatedly over and over again you will re-wire a neuro pathway in your brain (hopefully for something for your benefit because you can do that for something positive or negative, so it’s your choice!)
When you catch yourself having a negative thought, or worrying about something here is what you can do to help:
(Grab a piece of paper and a pen for this the first couple times you do this until you can remember the steps.)
1. Name the adversity, or problem. Write it down. Example: “I didn’t get the job because they haven’t called yet”
2. List your beliefs (your first reactions to the issue) these are also “mind chatter” the self talk in the form of thoughts you think to yourself so try to become aware of when this starts happening:
“I’m not qualified for the position.”
“I’m not smart enough.”
“I wasn’t professional enough.”
“Who am I to think I deserve this position?”
3. Identify the consequences of your thoughts:
“Why do I even bother, I’m not qualified for any of these positions that I keep applying for and I never end up getting hired. I’m just going to quit my job search and stay with the job I have. Even though I hate my job, at least I have a job.”
(So basically the consequence is that you are talking yourself out of bettering yourself and searching for a new job because you start to give into the false and negative beliefs you have about yourself)
4.Question and challenge your thoughts; are they true? Can you be absolutely sure that these thoughts are true? Write down a rebuttal.
“I’m probably not feeling confident because that position wasn’t quite right for me. But I am smart and I am very qualified. The right position is out there for me, I have just yet to find it, but it’s only a matter of time.”
5. Write down how your better feeling thoughts made you feel:
“Now that I have evaluated my negative, untrue thoughts I realize that it just came from a place of fear inside of me. I won’t let fear stand in the way of keeping me from finding my dream job that makes me happy.”
This process can be used with any kind of thoughts you may think to yourself. So try it the next time you are having a hard time with something and see if it helps to alleviate the stress that negative thoughts can cause in our lives.
