My husband J.P was scheduled to leave with the military on Sunday January 17, 2011; he was twenty-six at the time. We had known since the prior summer that he might be going, he was in the Navy, but was going to be going on land as Airport security. I was very worried as we have a daughter (Sophie) who was 1 at the time. But J.P never thought about trying not to go, it was so important to him to do a second tour in Afghanistan, and would have never turned it down as then someone else would have to go in his place and leave their family. So we accepted it and prepared, and packed and took family pictures and planned for him to be away until August of this year.
I remember the day of his diagnosis so clearly, we had planned to go out for the night on Friday January 15, two days before J.P was supposed to leave. That morning was a typical morning except for J.P going to an eye doctor appointment I had scheduled for him. For the prior months he was complaining of eye pressure and headaches, so I wanted to make sure he did not need glasses or anything before he got on the plane to Afghanistan. Little did I know how much the appointment would change our lives . . .
I received the call from J.P that the eye doctor noticed that his Optic Nerve was swollen, which could be anything: from nothing to something as serious as meningitis, or something else. Although the doctor figured it was nothing to worry about, he sent J.P to his military hospital just to be sure. From there, the military doctor was concerned enough to send him to a civilian hospital in Halifax for a CT scan.
I was at home with Sophie that whole morning wondering what could be wrong. When I researched Optic Nerve swelling I received things back such as MS and Brain Tumor. I thought in my mind that it could be a brain tumor based on his symptoms, but I was not panicking. I figured at J.P’s age, it would be a low grade benign tumor that would be easily removed and we would move on.
I received a call from a military nurse while I was waiting for J.P to call me. She asked me for some numbers off his paperwork for Afghanistan. I asked her if he would still be going, she said no. I asked her over and over why, she could not tell me until they had a doctor confirm what was wrong, but she said he would not be going.
When J.P called he was very upset about this, the fact that someone else would have to leave their family so suddenly to take his place. He kept asking me to call the nurse back and tell them everything was fine and that he was able to go. A little while later, I got a call from J.P’s brother, which confirmed the suspected diagnosis; a large mass in his right frontal lobe. No matter how much I tried to prepare myself for this I literally remember my breathing stopping. I somehow pretended to our daughter Sophie that everything was okay.
While at the hospital, the doctor explained that he could not go home as his tumor was so large that it could “teeter” either way. They were very shocked at the lack of his symptoms. I spent the night calling family and arranging for a stay in the hospital, and trying to wrap my head around everything that just happened. We met with Dr. Clarke, the neurosurgeon who would be doing his surgery. The surgery was planned for Monday, two days away, sooner if necessary. I remember his symptoms got so much worse over those few days in the hospital; he had double vision and seizure-like hiccups.
