An Australian husband has its advantages: that cute-as-a-koala accent, the quaint bafflement at American dating rituals, and the top prioritization of mates, family, and having fun. Much can be learned from the culture—and there are many ways to grasp just what it is that drives Down Under. After extensive anthropological research, I have ascertained that there is nothing closer to an Aussie’s heart than a barbeque grill, or “barbie.”
When my matrimonial subject finally made his grill selection after months of careful studying and comparing, I swept the deck and lined it with palm fronds in holy expectation. He wheeled the grill up, and cranked it hot and spitting within five seconds, after lovingly assembling each part and screw. We christened it in true Down-Under style—with a beer splashed on the grill rack—sending up a fragrant steam. I have been spoiled rotten by his obsession, feasting nearly nightly on succulent charred lamb, chicken, and “snags” (or sausages, to us Yankees).
The Fourth of July is the one holiday when grilling seems essential, its absence practically punishable by law. There is no excuse for not having a roaring picnic with friends in celebration of our fine nation’s independence from the Queen! Oops. Sorry, baby.
Here are some pointers for a barbie bash, with vigorous nods to my bloke.
- Choose what you will supply and ask guests to bring the rest. We supply the meat (synonymous with Australia), the beer (also synonymous with Australia), condiments, and plates/cutlery/cups/napkins. And of course, the barbie.
- Have guests bring salads, brownies, chips, dips, veggies—in other words … The Rest of It.
- It’s practically unavoidable to have duplicate ramen noodle or German potato salads by the (deli) gallon, but you could mix things up a bit by being somewhat specific on the invitation. I like to ask, “Please bring an unusual side dish to pass,” or, “Please bring a dish that hails from your ethnic heritage,” which works well for the Fourth of July. We are The Melting Pot after all, and it’s nice to remember that. You may get something, well, vile (like lutefisk), but it’s worth it. For those not in the know, lutefisk is a Swedish dish (my heritage) consisting of cod prepared with lye. It’s so caustic, it ruins silver on contact. But! That’s the exciting risk we take with good old potluck.
- Have guests bring their favorite beverage as well. There is never too much beer, so have people bring a six-pack of ale and a bottle or two of wine.
- Set up garbage cans with several garbage bags in them. Put three or four unopened liners in the bottom of the can, and then line it with another one. This way nobody is scrabbling around for garbage bags, and it’s easy to clean. Setting up a recycling can is not a bad idea either!
- Decorate as patriotically as you wish, there’s a lot of paraphernalia out there for decorating. Check out your friendly neighborhood 99-cents store—it’s usually a treasure trove of themed trinkets.
A Few Basics for Barbie Dolls
- Gas is the only way to go as far as I’m concerned, though I am quite sure some old-timers would disagree. But let’s face it, there’s nothing like just turning a knob. No lighting fluid smell on your hands, no singed eyebrows—it’s dreamy.
- So assuming your grill is gas, make sure that the gas tank is full before guests arrive. This may seem insultingly obvious, but you would be shocked at the number of emergency gas runs I have personally witnessed. And this is a very experienced Barbie Doll speaking. (I remember particularly an ugly situation when our host put a lamb roast into a VERY state-of-the-art Australian grill, and blithely began socializing with guests during the cooking time of two hours—only to discover that the gas tank had been empty the entire time. Not pretty.)
