As a private employee, working more than eight hours a day, single, working mom of an eight year old girl who goes to school everyday at six in the morning and me at eight, waking up early as four a.m., preparing breakfast, her bath, and everything she needs and myself as well. At night, she has to do her homework by herself and wait until I get home from work to review her lessons and assignments but importantly, she has to wait until mom gets home because she has to have dinner together with me. On weekends, the bonding moments are a must, you must have time to make her understand why there are only two instead of three of us … make her understand at an early age the bitterness of losing a dad for reasons she cannot yet fully understand. It has never been easy, but as a mom I made my every effort to make her slowly understand the life we had and will forever be. And earning a living alone, I have to budget everything from food, clothing, monthly bills, and miscellaneous expense until the next pay day. It’s tough walking the road of single moms …
This is the daily routine of my five years existence as a woman. When I got separated—which has never been an easy task for me being the mom, dad, and the nanny and an employee all in one person—all responsibilities rolled up in one sleeve, and worst of all, I have no choice but be strong and do what fate has asked me to be.
Rationally, I consider the break up not as a disaster, but rather a blessing in disguise. Since that day, my daughter and me live alone and I face life by myself with all the responsibilities laid upon me and I have no one to run to for security and assistance, moral support and care. In moments I feel lost and troubled by so much pain and hardships, I realized that I am a woman of worth, of purpose, of sense. Although maybe I failed as a wife, I strive to be my best and hope that I won’t fail as a mom. No matter how much hurt I have, no matter the inevitable shame I brace after being left standing in the rain, here I am still standing, fighting back the adversities whether the sun rise in the morning, or the rain comes in dark cloudy skies. I moved on with life with a proud look and a brave heart.
The pain, struggle to survive and the bitterness of it all, the burden that life has laid upon my shoulder has taught me to become strong, as I never was in my entire life and has made me become what I am today. I never thought I could walk through the journey with no one to run for solace and comfort but the haven of my own self, my daughter who painted me smiles when I frown and shed my tears when I cry.
As a single mom, we must be proud still. We might not be perfect in the eyes of the person who left us, but in the eyes of our children, we made them see that we are here for them. We made them feel that we are here to love them and embrace them with cares and affection. Show then the bright side of life.
