Once you have been married and divorced, entering the dating scene may be the last thing on your mind. Once you are “on the market,” so to speak, friends and family members may adopt you as their personal mission.
Before you were a parent, you really only had to look out for yourself. There wasn’t anyone else dependent on you to make wise choices and decisions. Now that you are a parent, and looking for a man or woman to date, the circumstances are quite different. Every choice you make may somehow affect your child or children. This is particularly true when it comes to dating.
Many single parents attempt the “fish dating” life—separate from the lives of their children—at least until something serious develops with a person they are seeing. Some parents only date on the days that their child is with his or her other parent. This protects the child from any feelings of resentment and jealousy. The parent isn’t taking time away from the child to be with someone else, so there are less reasons for conflicts.
If you are the sole guardian, however, you may not have the luxury to date only when your child is away. If so, you will need to talk to your child about how you need to have friends, just as your child needs friends. But, it is still a good idea to keep your dating life separate, at least until you have gotten to know the person you are seeing a little better.
Once you have begun to see someone fairly regularly, you will probably want to introduce your child. There are several reasons for this. You may want to see how your new friend responds to your child, and you may want to see how your child reacts to your new friend. Keep in mind, however, that it may take them both a little time to get used to the idea that they may have to share you.
If your child is extremely possessive of you and your time, let him or her in on some simple decisions—such as deciding where you could all go for a fun evening. Be sure and give him or her extra time with just you as often as possible, especially after you have introduced them to someone new.
