Breast-Feeding: How Long Is Too Long?

I am currently weaning my almost-3-year-old son. When my husband and I considered the question of how long to breast-feed, it seemed important not only to look at societal norms or whether we would look weird, but at how weaning at a particular time would affect the family. Our son's health was likely to be improved by extended breast-feeding, as much research shows, as was mine. We were comiitted to an attachment model in parenting, and believe that extended breast-feeding helps to secure a strong attachment. Other thoughts we pondered were how the breast-feeding affected the relationship between my husband and my son (does it contribute to an un-equal level of attachment?) and my husband and my relationship (is it negatively affecting my sex drive? does it make my husband feel left out?). And equally important: did our son seem ready? How much strain would weaning put on him and the family? It seems to me that these questions are important and the answers vary from family to family.

First: if your child is old enough (after 6 months old) and DOES NOT WANT, it's already too long. Second: if your child is okay with it, I think up to 2 is enough as a food source. After that, your child is pretty much old enough to eat solids well.

And in case anyone was wondering, here is an article by an anthropologist discussing what the natural age of weaning would be: http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html Her findings: 2.5 - 7 years.

I agree with Gale's points on this. Mothers breastfeeding too long is really not the issue in this country. Our breastfeeding rates are abysmal. Honestly, this chit chat makes it sound like tons of women are breastfeeding 9 year olds or something, when really that is incredibly rare. When we in the attachment parenting community talk about extended breastfeeding we are usually referring to 2-3 or occasionally 4 years. To the people that think kids who breastfed "too long" have social issues, did you ever consider that maybe the child already had this social issue, which is why they needed the comfort of breastfeeding longer than most children? It really doesn't matter if non mothers think it's weird, because you don't know how you will feel when it is your own child's needs you are meeting. This is really something that should be left up to each mother and child. We should be spending a lot less time stigmatizing breastfeeding, and a lot more time supporting all breastfeeding mothers.

Anyone who breastfeeds beyond 2-3 years old does need help. Of course they love their children there is no doubt about that but obviously if a mother needs that closeness from a child she is not getting the proper self-esteem elsewhere and to use a child for their own selfish reasons is disgusting. I agree with Jacob Hawkins "the mother needs help and it is emotionally damaging", not abusive but damaging. Hey Laura! there is no shortage of love in this world as long as you have enough in your own home but there is a shortage of people with knowledge and common sense. My brother has a girlfriend who breastfed her first child until she was 5-6 years old and now she is breastfeeding again her second child who is 2 years old so far and she has no plans on quitting. The result: child #1 is not independent, she relies on her mother for self-esteem and affection and has social issues. Not judging for loving and taking care of them, judging for using their children for their own selfishness.

Breastfeeding two years is the limit for me. I think anything beyond that is NOT healthy for the child emotionally. At that point it is completely for the mother and she needs to evaluate why she is wanting it to continue.

You can read my response here: http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2010/12/is-breastfeeding-six-year-old-ok-er.html
With discussion on the Facebook group :)

Holy smokes, I was howling with laughter reading this "chit-chat." I can be as positional as the next person, left unchecked, can go to a place of judgment, like I said, holy smokes. Cultural and societal norms vary and sometimes the “isness” that we stand on some holy ground about at worst limits our thinking and at best…if you can see beyond it, is the opportunity for a good chuckle.
Whether we appreciate it or not, providing the best nutrition for infants, is the purpose of breasts. Funny how nature works so perfectly with and without our “good ideas.” An interesting question would be, how in the world did “man” first decide that taking milk that was intended for a baby cow, who by the way NEEDS to gain 100+ pounds in its first year, and drinking it himself? I devolve and the dairy council issue is getting a bit off track.
I mean people get grossed out about breast feeding, and I admit, I did kind of cringe at the thought of an entire family switching to breast milk, but when

I say leave it up to the mother and child. Some women can't breastfeed because they do not produce enough milk. Some women in different cultures usually don't wean until 5 years of age (This was a frequent practice in cultures were it was considered to slow reproduction ability and to subsidize food sources). I think most people are concerned with a mother and a child (say 10) in "public" breastfeeding (which is very unlikely to happy). As far as the psychological benefits or damages, don't ask me.

I have breast fed both my children and not only to I see the health benefit but also the economical one. I do think a choice like this is purely personal and should be left to those that make it. However one option that has not been put out there that I would think to be a great one for parents who choose to breastfeed to an older age would be to pump. Then you have the benefit and the growth. I knew one women whose whole family stopped buying milk and used hers. I am sure that wouldn't be for everybody but it isn't a bad thing. I choose not to judge and maybe even support but to each there own.