Go ahead, I dare you. Say you have a special needs child and see how fast someone feels sorry for you, kind of funny if you ask me. Why? Well, parents and caregivers of special needs children don’t feel sorry for themselves and the idea of that someone else wants to express their condolences is just plain weird. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that it is well meaning and not meant to be taken in a negative manner. I always say I don’t feel different than any other parent. Nope, no different.
My son Joshua is severely autistic and moderately mentally retarded and his brother is high functioning in the autism spectrum. They are definitely male. Let’s see, they love food, the young ladies, music, movies, food, like to play sports, did I mention food and the ladies? They also like to be creative and draw. My youngest is an excellent writer and artist. He is also learning how to cook which is good since he will live on his own and need to know that important skill.
Individuals who happen to have special needs can still drive their parents and caregivers insane. Oh yes they can. Picky eater anyone? No, I don’t mean dietary issues due to medical reasons, I mean won’t eat something just because.. You place some new food item on the plate only to have it pushed aside. Trying to have child eat a particular food with spoon approaching them and they lean backwards with a strange look on their face.
Or how about those times when said child chooses to wear summer attire in the winter?? When it’s really cold outside!
Temper tantrums, oh yes, the great weapon of embarrassment that seems to be universal among our offspring. What better way to grab the attention of strangers and to get their way, right? In any language too! Have you noticed that, it cuts across all languages, cultures, and you know when a child is having one, doesn’t matter if you don’t understand what’s being spoken, you just know. And as the adults, we just want to race out of the public eye as fast as we can and hope that we are forgotten just as quickly.
We, like everyone else just need some support and understanding. Talk with us and ask questions if you want to, no offense taken. In fact, that’s cool with us. Education is the way to understanding and seeing that we are all human and are the same in a lot of ways. And different too. You’d be surprised at the friendships you might make and keep. Try and see.
Parents and caregivers who are raising special needs children experience the same lovely things that others do, maybe they are little different, with some modification here and there. Mostly, though, it’s the same. We still go gray just like the rest, we still lose our minds, and no we would never want our lives any other way. At least I wouldn’t.
Now if only I could get my youngest to give advance notice on what he needs for school projects … I can dream, can’t I? Oh yeah and not let the laundry pile up ... oh man have I got some dreaming to do.
