Oh, happy day—the pregnancé is over! Baby Bey does in fact exist, despite the greatest conspiracy theories of our time. She’s only a few days old, but unsurprisingly there’s already a media storm over Beyoncé and Jay Z’s new baby, who arrived January 7. Here’s everything you need to know about Baby Blue’s life. Buckle up—there’s a lot.
After Much Confusion, the Name Is Appropriately Celeblike
Early reports of the birth said the couple had named her Ivy Blue—a relatively boring name by celeb standards. Lucky for us, who love celebrity trends, but unlucky for the baby, who has to live her life as a color, her name is in fact Blue Ivy Carter. If Blue Ivy isn’t the name of a lifestyle brand waiting to happen, I don’t know what is. We can all look forward to a line of sundresses, iPad cases, and fragrances in the year 2032 when Blue debuts her first celebrity “designed” label.
At Least One Person Is Worried How Blue Will Cope
It’s not easy being Blue, according to a man who bears the same unfortunate name and warns of a life of punch lines and clichés. Hey, her life can’t just be all fortune and bedazzled bathtubs. There’s gotta be some strife to exploit in the sad, soul-searching segment of her E! True Hollywood Story. (Via Forbes)
She Was Born in an Exclusive Nightclub
Well technically, it was a wing of the Lennox Hill Hospital that the couple rented and redecorated for $1.3 million. Like everywhere Jay-Z and Beyoncé go, the velvet rope was kept tightly sealed. Only this time, instead of keeping out rabid fans, partygoers, paparazzi, or anyone else not on the list, the couple’s security team kept other new parents from being able to see their babies in the maternity ward. (Via NY Daily News)
Jay-Z Dropped a Heartwarming Track About His “Bad-Ass” Daughter
Leave it to the king of hip-hop to find a way to call his baby “bad-ass” and wonder if she has the booty shakin’ powers of her mama. Still, Jay-Z’s hip-hop track about his daughter is almost as touching as Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely.” (Via Jezebel)
