It’s been over a year and you continue to haunt me. I can’t get you out of my head, and the harder I try, the worse it is. You have even begun to haunt my dreams so I cannot even escape in sleep anymore. I miss you so much it aches. I’m lonely and confused. Although I know it was for the best, I just can’t seem to come to terms with it being over forever. I think of you every day and send you light and love. I really do hope that you are happy, but I also know that you aren’t. Why else would you have unblocked me on Facebook two days after Christmas? I still check to see if you have or not. I must admit it stung, like tearing a scab off a wound. I was strong and I didn’t contact you in any way. I’m proud of myself for that much at least.
I just wish we could be at peace with each other. You know how I abhor being on bad terms with anyone, especially someone that I loved as much as you. Of course there have been several others, but none of any importance. I have tried so hard to forget you and love again, but I just can’t seem to. You raised the bar to a whole new level; it was a true meeting of the minds. How I miss that aspect of our relationship. I simply just can’t find that anywhere … some thing money just can’t buy and Mastercard can’t help either.
I know it had to end as that is how it was meant to be. You didn’t change, I did. However, I also know that we had a connection that was almost magical. Some call it ESP, others soul mates. I also think that we’ve crossed paths before and of course will again, in the next life. I believe that a karma debt had to be repaid to regain the balance. After all, it’s all about balance, isn’t it?
I must have hurt you terribly at some point in order to be suffering like this. I’m truly sorry for having done so. I’d almost say a fate worse than death except for the fact that I don’t believe death to be final, only a rebirth of sorts … so until we meet again my love, namaste. I will see you in my dreams.
