Have You Ever Broken Up with a Friend?

This comment has been DELETED on March 16, 2012

I have broken up with 2 friends. One was my best friend since 1st grade. At the age of 14 she moved to a different city. I called and my mom would take me to her house. At 16 she moved in with her older sister and family. Went to visit her yet this time i took an airplane. She got her own place and I visited stlill taking the airplane. I asked her to be my maid of honor at my wedding. She said "NO." She invited me to her wedding. Arrived late and all I saw was the kiss. Went to the reception. She said very few words to me. So I left. Years later she contacted me through my mom. And gyess what???? She only wanted to chat via Email. I did not have a computer so I have never spoken to her or seen her. I believe this is all for the best. I was chasing my best friend. Good Ridance. The next friend would take me places and charge me $5.00 for each trip.. I wanted her friendship. I was chasing her. In 2011 I stood uop for my rights & am not her BFF any more.

I've just come to the realization that just because we went to grade school together in the 50s, doesn't mean we are connected now. We really have nothing in common except that we went to grade school together so it's difficult to maintain a friendship. In addition, people without empathy or sympathy are incapable of relating on any level to anything you try to discuss. How does someone grow to age 60 without any feelings? I'm baffled. In any event, I'm letting this "relationship" go.

There was a person that I worked with that I thought we'd always be friends. It broke my heart that as she became older and physically ill that she lashed out at me. I would have, at one time, trusted her with my life. She was a loving, understanding, giving person and I had no problem returning her good grace. She retired and did call me, but the months of toxicity before she left our office made me realize that the friendship was on her terms and not a mutual commitment.

I was driven to call it quits with a friend of almost a decade. We have actually had two moments of, "lets have a time out." The first time was when I decided to visit her family's home in Mexico. Her family always spends 1-2 months over the Christmas holiday and I thought it might be fun to check it out. I planned the trip and brought my sister along to Puerto Vallarta. We had set up the schedule and I flew with my sister back to Guadelajara to get her on a plane home. My friend canceled at the last minute and told me to take the bus to a town close to hers. I was put in danger that day and truly believe that my Guardian Angels were there to protect me. Her excuse was that she was too tired. After that trip things just were not the same. We didn't speak for 2-3 years. I then decided to reach out to her because I missed our talks. After about 2 more years I realized that she had not changed and was just too selfish to be a good friend to me. Lesson learned!

It's never easy to break up with a friend, especially one you knew as a teen. After 20 years, I opened up about my unhappy memories in high school. She always remembered the good times. I remembered the nasty names certain students would call me and teachers who didn't intervene on my behalf. Two decades later, I was deeply saddened by her response. She calmly stated, "No, nothing like that ever happened to you. No one called you names." My heart sank because she heard the terrible names when we walked to our next class. If she had stated, "Yes. I remembered and I wish that I had done more." Any words in that framework would have added another emotional bond , enduring our friendship. We were young and inexperienced so I wasn't blaming her. We shared those moments together and I wanted her to commiserate. My last goodbye, simply suggested that we remember our young years but its time to lose each others' home and email addresses. She failed as a friend.

I had to break up with a male friend recently. We had been friends for a decade and I had been there for him when everybody else had flaked. I thought we had something unshakeable...until he got a girlfriend. For me, he was always the first person to ask me what was wrong when he knew something was bothering me, yet shortly after he met the girl he's currently dating, he told a mutual friend that he thought I was upset at him (he had arrived at my house to pick me up with the girl in the car with him, and who am I to get in the middle of that). Said mutual friend mentioned that I was upset about something but when I arrived on scene he completely blew me off. Then, when I asked him a while later what was up with his behavior, he went on a tirade about how this girl was first and foremost in his life now, and everybody else understands, why can't I? Needless to say, I don't need to be an option to somebody I had always made a priority (like I do with all of my friends). I deleted him.

Sadly, yes. I miss her, but not her sadness, immovable attitude, and lack of respect for my life choices. Once I weighed the cons, I realized that it was not right to expect her to change her ways; I had to either accept it or remove myself from it.

I strongly believe that when a relationship ends, it does not give either party the right to divulge anything that was shared during the friendship; it should remain confidential.

I did have to break up with a friend. In highschool, there was this friend of mine who was really dominating and jealous of her friends, or I should say friend - me. She though I had to be around her all the time, follow her wherever she went and tried to force even her religion on me. As soon as we finished highschool, I wasn't forced to be around her any more, so I called it quits. We meet eventually, since she lives in the neighborhood, but I'm not the least interested in getting back together as "best friends". Would you be?