(from a series of short stories titled "Farting with Dignity")
We all have that one set of friends, you know the outdoorsy type. They spend their vacations scuba diving or bungee jumping the highest points of the land they visit. Me, the idea of a vacation is planting my caboose in a sun chair, next to the bar, at the pools edge. Cocktail, yes; sunscreen, absolutely;” ooh can you rub some more on my shoulders very cute pool boy?” That’s my idea of vacationing ... relaxation, not a care in the world, viewing the cute pool boys and the not so cute forty something men trying to fit their middle aged bodies into Speedos—eventually it all makes for such great fodder.
We’ve vacationed numerous times with our best friends Greg and Shari; Eagle Ridge midnight golfing, daylight hikes, mountain sledding (not so much me but them) and cross country skiing. This time we decided on warmth, sun and fun—yeah my idea of a vacation at last—or so I thought. Although my heart was lying by the side of the pool, I was just diagnosed with melanoma and was mentally preparing for my surgery after our trip. Poolside was probably NOT a good idea considering the circumstances. But I’m pretty sure climbing mountains wasn’t on my surgeons list of things to do either!
This was the Merritts’ first trip to Scottsdale and since I had previously lived here, I was the recreation agent for all things to be done while on vacation in Scottsdale. Hmm again, March in Phoenix, temps in the 80s, I’m thinking poolside but not the Merritts; they had bigger mountains to climb. Alas we come to climbing Camelback Mountain in Scottsdale. How touristy! But okay I’ll bite, I’ll drive you there but I’m not climbing. Remember me, your best friend, the gal afraid of heights? I don’t do heights or small spaces. Okay so maybe mountains aren’t small spaces but they’re very tall which eliminates them automatically from my repertoire of FUN.
We arrive at the mountain around 10:00 in the morning. The sun isn’t at its highest point yet but the weatherman, who seems to always be RIGHT in Arizona, predicts HOT. Again, we could be poolside right now, in the shade, sipping Bloody Mary’s.
