I was due at Rockefeller Center for The Dr. Oz Show taping at 8 a.m. I got up at 7:00 and began the preparations for making myself effortlessly beautiful. My primary concern was eliminating under-eye bags and having a solid poop that made me feel five pounds lighter. I killed two birds with one stone by doing my make-up while sitting on the toilet. (I’m sure that’s how all the great actors of our time prepare for television appearances.)
At 7:30 a.m., a junior assistant producer called to make sure I was still coming. At that point, my hair was wet and I was standing in front of my suitcase naked. I told her I was on my way.
The best I could do was to arrive at Rockefeller Center ten minutes late in a sweaty panic. I had a feeling that I wasn’t quite famous enough to be arriving late for a show taping because curling my hair and pooping took longer than expected.
While I waited for someone from The Dr. Oz Show to come get me and/or kick me off the show, I continuously fanned myself with a dirty napkin and re-applied powder. I was hemorrhaging sweat and didn’t know where to fan first. Should I try and save my hair? Or my melted make-up? Would it be bad to take my clothes off for just a second to cool off?
Luckily, the Oz producers forgot about me down in the lobby for fifteen minutes and at that point I really didn’t care. I was sweating like an NBA star in the fourth quarter of the finals and was in no shape to be anywhere but over a drainage system.
When someone from the show finally arrived, the sweat storm was mostly over and I was just trying to eliminate the visible signs of wetness from my hair and clothes. The junior assistant producer silently escorted me to the sixth floor where I was greeted with a refreshing mist of highly air conditioned air. I smiled for the first time that morning.
For the next two hours, I lived the life of a TV star. It was filled with highs (hair and make-up!) and lows (healthy snacks in the dressing room) but I managed to learn a few things.
